Parent-child Alienation: How Does It Come About?

One of the most important things a child should understand is that despite a breakup, their parents will never stop loving them and spending time with them.

The concept of parent-child alienation is not recognized in any psychiatric manual, but everyone should be aware of its existence.

There are many parents who stay together because they think their children need a family united or because they are so dependent on the other person that they will try everything possible before they end the relationship.

However, when children are involved, marital problems should be resolved quickly and as easily as possible. Parents should always try to separate under good conditions so that no one has to suffer.

Ending the relationship with your partner to solve problems doesn’t mean you are throwing in the towel. Instead, it means that you, as parents , think about what is best for your children.

“My father is a very bad man”

“My father is a bad man.” This is what a child might think as a result of parent-child alienation from a parent. Once the parents have split up or are about to split up, they may throw stones and speak ill of the other parent.

Many parents are unaware of the harm they are doing with their attitudes. It’s like they’re only thinking about themselves. They forget that their children are in a very sensitive phase in which they perceive everything and every negative experience leaves traces that will affect them in the future.

For example, when a parent says to their child, “Your father is a bad man”, they begin to promote parent-child alienation. In conclusion , the child will lose confidence in his father, behave unfairly towards him, and perhaps even despise him. In reality, however, the father did nothing wrong.

If this father speaks badly of his ex-wife,  it is possible that the child is confronted with unsteady feelings and does not know how to deal with them.

In this case, it will not trust either mother or father. Because of this, the child will experience a mistrust that changes sides again and again as soon as the parents try to pull it over to their own side.

Preventing Parent-Child Alienation

Parent-child alienation can make any child feel insecure, less trustworthy, and lose respect for their parents.

It can also be receptive to the opinions of others and get carried away by them. This is due to his low self-esteem, which comes from the experiences made.

Therefore it is necessary to avoid any behavior that encourages the development of this syndrome. If these behaviors are avoided, harmful influences on the child can be avoided.

Some of these behaviors are as follows:

• Talking badly about the other parent in the presence of the child ,
• try to manipulate the child by making them feel bad because they want to see the other parent,
• Appreciation and applause for words or actions directed against or against the other parent

• talk about the breakup without details.

In these cases it is very important not to use the child as a “weapon”. The child is not to blame!

Be honest and sincere with children

Even if the children are very young, you have to talk to them about the separation. Many parents mistakenly think that their children are too young to understand the gravity of the situation.

You have to speak to the children in a simple manner and be honest with their questions. The most important thing is that the child knows that this is a normal development between couples and that it does not have to feel lonely, bad or even guilty as a result.

Children need to understand that separation is a natural process. You need to realize that parenting separation isn’t the worst thing in the world because both parents continue to love their child as before. 

All of these will help the child not to feel sad and cut off when it comes to their parents’ separation. In this way the child will understand that a negative environment does not make people happy. It can take off when in such a situation.

The child needs to know that they are loved by their parents despite the separation and that both parents devote sufficient time to them.